Bird on a Wire

Yesterday, I was sitting in my back yard. I was relaxing on the future site of my deck. A veritable plethora of lines run through the air above my back yard. It would seem that the city got tired of burying phone and electrical lines half way through my block. The north half has buried utilities and the south side does not. It’s as though the ally is a set of tracks that I am living on the wrong side of.

Normally I consider these lines a detractor and would like to see them buried. Last night, however, I watched the birds perch on these lines. I have never really watched birds do that. I always thought they just grabbed on and sat there. Not so, for these birds anyway. These birds spent considerable energy trying to balance. Every breeze and every new bird landing on the wire would cause a motion that the sitting birds would have to compensate for; mostly it seemed by moving their tails up and down. I just thought the birds were resting up there on the wires. It would seem I was wrong. If this property of wires is ubiquitous then sitting on a wire requires a certain amount of energy and attention to balance and birds must not be resting up there. Perhaps it’s just a safe place removed from predators where they can get a view of the world and decide what to do next.

Homage to Charles

In honor of Charlie many and varied compliments about my writing I have created a short quiz about him. Try it out and see how well you know my warped sense of Charlie. This is just my small token of thanks to you Charles.

Have Your Porch and Eat it Too...

I coined this phrase back in heady days of 1995. It made less sense then than it does now, but back then things didn’t have to make sense. The stock market was on its way up, up, up. I could buy a soda for 50 cents. I listened to Pearl Jam. The Braves won their first series. Tom Hanks won his second best actor Oscar in a row. A lot of other stuff happened too, but it has nothing to do with the porch.

My girlfriend and I were strolling through a small Iowa town. We remarked to one another about what we would like in a house someday if we were to get married. I said that it was important that our house have a deck off the back where we could get away from the fast paced world and relax. We could sit on our deck and read, grill burgers, have parties, nap, watch the grass grow, and the trees change color. It would be just like being inside the house only we would get more fresh air. I could sit on my deck and drink my lemonade and relax. I would have a space for deck chairs. Oh yes, they would be mine.

She had other ideas. Her ideas were contrary and mutually exclusive. She pointed to a house and said she would like one similar to that! I was shocked. There was no hint that there was a deck at all, not even on the side, or even a back step on which to put a grill. I was aghast. She explained that we need a big front porch. It will have a porch swing and face the street. We could sit and relax and watch people go by on their evening walks. We could wave and talk to the neighbors. We could invite people up on our porch for pleasant conversation, and lemonade and cookies. I countered, that even though I had not mentioned it, that the cookies would fit and taste perfectly good on the deck in the back of our house. She smiled and said that the point was that the front porch would welcome people to our home and make us part of the community.

I was heartbroken, and she quickly stated the compromise that lead to the eventual title of this post. We could have a front porch and a deck in back. I knew it would never work, at least in hindsight, I know now that it never would have worked. In my despondent state of denial I said, “Eh, everybody wants to have their porch and eat it too.” It didn’t make any sense and she knew it. That’s the way conversations go. Every once in a while I say something that doesn’t make any sense.

The old saying, “Have your cake and eat it too,” never made much sense to me until I realized that it was actually backwards. You have to have the cake to eat it. What people want is to eat the cake and still have it. I propose we change the cliché to, “Eat your cake and have it too.”

Standing there in front of that porch clad house I knew that it was over, and yet I didn’t. For one thing I was three hours from home and she had driven so it was a bad time to start down the “breakup” line of discussion. Yet it was the beginning of the end. For all that my idea was the greatest I had ever conceived during my short but mentally prolific life, I was brought low by a woman who wanted a front porch for the very reason that I did not. (If you’re thinking, “Really? A deck? That’s the greatest idea you have ever had?” Then you don’t fully appreciate how awesome this deck was. Imagine the perfect deck. Everything you could want, and then every time you remembered you forgot something else that you really wanted, it’s there too! If you can imagine that then you’re still not even close to how awesome this deck was.) She was a front porch girl, and I was a guy with the dream of one day having a really big deck. That could sum up our outlook on life. That was the problem. She enjoyed people. She wanted to spend her leisure immersing herself in the community and for the most part I wanted to spend my leisure escaping from it.

So it didn’t work. It took a year for us to realize that.

Now I wonder if it’s a metaphor for our society. People say they used to know their neighbors and everyone else in town, and now they don’t recognize anybody. Maybe somewhere along the way we stopped building big front porches and when we did the community became less interactive. Or maybe I shouldn’t ramble so much…

Time Flies Like a Churro

I have spent some time pondering my life and thinking about time passing since I read Carrie’s post “Time Does Fly…” This weekend it hit me. I was sitting in church and the minister talked about (Matthew 6:31) “Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?” I would say that this has been the biggest difference between now and my carefree days of youth. In my youth I had problems, kids made fun of me at school, poor grades, and a brother who was far better than me at everything to name a few, but I never had cause to worry about whether or not I would be fed, and clothed. I never had the latest fashions, and that was really a good character building exercise that some would say has lasted to the present, when they see what I wear. I digress. The point is, until I graduated from college I never worried about what I would eat, what I would wear or a roof over my head. Even then it didn’t concern me much. Then I got married and decided it was time I began worrying about whether or not there was food, clothing, and shelter for my wife and me.

Reflecting on the Sermon on the Mount has caused me to believe that worry or concern is ultimately what has caused me to lose my child like wonder and abandon my big dreams for the daily grind. I need to have no worry about what I shall eat, drink or wear. This will free up my life for the more noble pursuits. That is what I will do from today forth. The small trivialities of life shall be left to take care of themselves and I shall spend my time on larger matters allowing me to live the life I dreamt so long ago… right after I figure out what to have for dinner.

Tune in next time for “Have Your Porch and Eat it Too.”

All in the Name of God Somehow

Here is a story more important than anything I have to say today. I like to read it and weep.

George and Silent Dick's Secret Tax

We hear a great deal about taxes. Who should be taxed, and how much, are points of great controversy here in the United States (there in the United States if this is being read by persons not currently within our borders). There is a secret tax that is little noted nor long remembered and for all the Republican posturing, about how taxation stifles economic growth, the truth of the matter is never wholly acknowledged. If we accept the conservative premise that every dollar that the government removes from the private sector economy is a burden, then it follows that taxation is not the most important issue when it comes to our burdensome government. It would seem that government spending, not taxation, is the key to the government’s economically burdensome policies. When the government spends a dollar it must get that dollar from somewhere. In the simplest terms (I have neither the knowledge nor inclination to describe the many nuances that permeate this process) the government has three choices to get their dollar.

They can tax their constituents.

They can borrow money.

They can print money.

The ideology of our current administration is that the first option is bad. People work hard for their money and they should be allowed to keep it. If we take people’s money from them they will buy fewer things. If people buy fewer things then businesses will produce fewer things. If businesses produce fewer things then they lay people off or reduce wages. The cycle continues until every one is out of work and nothing is getting done. The opposite is then true by definition. Tax people less and they will spend more, so businesses must produce more, so wages go up and more people are employed.

We need to find a better way to fund our government. We can’t take the risk of sinking our economy through taxation. So let’s borrow that dollar we need for our government. The problem with borrowing money (as anyone with a credit card can attest) is the interest. The financial markets work under the same supply vs. demand laws that all other markets do. So every dollar the government borrows is a dollar a private citizen can’t borrow to buy a house or car, and a business can’t borrow to build a new factory or buy more supplies. If we take the money people want to borrow then they will buy fewer things. If people buy fewer things then businesses will produce fewer things. If businesses produce fewer things then… I’ve seen this somewhere before.

If only there was another way to fund our government that did not take money from the people who need it in order to fuel our economy. As a child I didn’t understand why the government had to borrow money. They have a printer. Print all you want to spend, and when you’re done print some more. As an adult, it’s remarkably obvious why it doesn’t work that way. Every new dollar the government prints and spends with out removing another dollar from circulation devalues the currency. Inflation! The economy, as a whole, works much like an auction the amount of money is finite and the amount of goods is finite, then the government shows up with new money and as a result prices go up. If we raise people’s prices they will buy fewer things. If people buy fewer things then businesses will produce fewer things. If businesses produce fewer things then… Hummm, back here again.

It doesn’t matter from a global economic perspective how the government gets its cash, it still has to take it from the economy. Therefore, borrowing and inflation become a secret tax. We don’t see a line item like “FICA” on our check, or “sales tax” on our bill. We don’t receive a statement describing our reduced buying power with our property tax forms. It all just happens so slowly that we don’t even notice unless we are reading a stupid blog.

This isn’t an attack focused on the current administration alone. I just couldn’t resist the title after I thought of it.

If Not Formicah

Ever since Jessica’s consecration I have been intrigued by the Bible verse (Micah 6:8) “Do justice love mercy and walk humbly with your God.” The three part doctrine flows off the tongue much the same way the greatest commandment does. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself. It’s reads like a simple path to guide ones life. Yet there lurks a depth to this verse.

The verse can be entirely secularized with the removal of the last three words. “Do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly.” The first two commands are left completely intact and the third is mostly undisturbed. What we do remains unchanged. We just eliminate the specificity of the partner one might be humbly walking with. I feel from a Christian perspective it should read “…walk humbly with the Lord.” This would eliminate any ambiguity in the statement. If I were to say this verse to someone, his or her “god” may be different from mine. The phrase “your God” does seem to imply that there is more than one. Further more, as to the ease of secularization the passage, I find that it is a good measure of a leader. In my experience good leaders do justice, love mercy and walk humbly.

Back in the religious context I find that I am to “do justice” and “walk humbly” yet I am not told to “be merciful”. I am told to “love mercy”. Here the simplicity of the statement evaporates and I am left with questions about my salvation. Am I supposed to let others be merciful, and then when I see that they are, I should love it? Perhaps mercy is just not as universal as justice and humility, or for that matter walking. The great thing about a blog though, is that I can throw this stuff out there and people far more intelligent and learned will respond with all the answers.